I am bothered by the promotional blitz leading up to Universal’s Middle Eastern action-thriller The Kingdom, for many reasons. Some are tied to hunches I have about the film and deeply held convictions about God and peace and stuff. Another is that it looks like a very promising cast in a big, dumb, pandering movie.*
So, in the brutally competitive spirit of this site, you are invited to battle for the most interesting film pitch with this cast. The movie that makes me want to spend money to get into a dark theater wins. Second prize will be awarded for anything I would put in my Netflix Queue.
Write a brief description of characters and plot, with a summary and themes, or write up something in the style of movie trailer narration. Employ at least the lead actors from The Kingdom in the lead roles, but feel free to add supporting cast, or replace production staff at whim.
Entries that involve Jaime Foxx cross-dressing or undercover as a white person will be immediately disqualified (Collateral, Ray, Dreamgirls). The film also stars Jennifer Garner (Alias, 13 Going on 30, Daredevil), Chris Cooper (Adaptation, The Bourne Supremacy, Breach), Jason Bateman (Arrested Development), and a bunch of other people (okay, Jeremy Piven).
Submit your entry in the comments to this post. May the good Lord take a liking to ya.
Prizes may include one or none of the following: 1/4 pound of Coffee Klatch Sumatra beans; $5 gift certificate to Audio Lunchbox; 1/4 flock of chicks donated in your name through Heifer Int’l.
*If you’re excited about this film, I don’t hold it against you. Like I said, it’s a great cast. I could be convinced. But not for the purposes of winning this competition.
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